Waitress (approaching table to clear starter plates): – Mrs Guest, may I take your plate? How did you enjoy the hamhock?

Mrs Guest (giving Wtrss a hardly understandable look): – It was… … … ooo-kaaay.

Wtrss (waiting for Mrs Guest to continue her speech): – ???

Wtrss: – Was there any problem with the dish?

Mrs Guest: – Mmmm… Nooo… it was… ok…

Wtrss: – Did you not enjoy it then?

Mrs Guest: – Well… it was just… you know… ooooo-kay.

Wtrss:WTF???!!! What do you mean “you know?” How would I know?!  Would you like to choose another starter maybe?

Mrs Guest: – Oh no, no, no. It was… it was ok.

Wtrss:Pffff… Go f*ck yourself then!


Wtrss (checking back during main course): – Mrs Guest, I hope you like the lamb.

Mrs Guest: – Yes, thank you, it’s very tasty… (giving Wtrss the ‘but-look’)

Wtrss: – ?????

Mrs Guest: – It’s just not very hot! It’s not very hot inside! You know, this is our 30th wedding anniversary, the Hotel knows about it, they also sent this complimentary bottle of wine to our room, so we decided to come for dinner, and now… the lamb is… you know.

Wtrss: – Oh I am sorry to hear that. Would you like me to take it back to the kitchen or get another one for you?

Mrs Guest: – Oh no, don’t do that. I don’t want to make a hassle.

Wtrss: – Mrs Guest, it is not a hassle at all. Let me quickly order another one, or would you like to choose a different dish?

Mrs Guest: – Nonono. It’s fine. It’s just, you know. I don’t want to complain. I’m just saying, the lamb is not very hot. Our anniversary is spoilt.

Wtrss:F*******ck uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!! You ARE f*cking complaining, you ARE making a hassle by “saying”! You ARE being an idiot! I just offered three ways to make it up to you and you refused them all. You are making me feel crap because of your spoilt anniversary but you won’t let us get it right. If you have a complain, place it properly. If you don’t want anything to be done, shut the f*ck up and stop “just saying”. Again, I am terribly sorry about that. How can I make it right then for you, Mrs Guest?

Mrs Guest: – Oh, I know it’s not your fault. You are very kind. It’s the kitchen, isn’t it? I don’t want to argue. I just want to enjoy my anniversary dinner, that’s all.

Wtrss:You’re a joke! You still bitching here for nothing?! Gimme a break! You are f*cking wasting my time, why are you not like your husband, look at him: he knows how to behave in a restaurant, eating, sipping his free wine, he is not whining, not moaning, not making faces. He is probably thinking, why the hell he wasted thirty goddamned years on you, b*tch… Well, I’m sure we could sort it out. Please let me know if I can do anything for you.


Mrs Guest: – Now, I think we’ll just share a cheese board for dessert, but can I take it up to our room? Is that ok?

Wtrss: – Of course it is, but why don’t you leave it with me, I will ask my room service colleague to do it for you. Also, let me apologize once again, I am truly sorry that we couldn’t meet your expectations this evening. Please accept the dessert and a port as a complimentary for all the inconveniences.

Mrs Guest: – Oh well, if you insist. But can we have some extra blue cheese and camembert?

Wtrss:FFFFFFF UUUUUUU!!! By all means.

* * *

Mrs Guest, on leaving the restaurant – where she and her poor husband just had a free bottle of wine, was given a free cheeseboard with room service, together with two free glasses of port – makes Wtrss#2 taking her starter and main course off of the bill, on the base that she did not find it tasty enough and the lamb, which was served pink, as it was told before, did not burn her tongue off, therefore her 30th wedding anniversary turned into a misery. Mrs Guest really knows, how to save money on dining: for their £95.00-worth dinner they paid a ridiculous £25.00 in the end. Mrs Guest is not a bad customer nonetheless, she is just… you know… ooo-kay.

True story.

Open up your mouth…!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: